An unwilling heart.....

Lately, I've been struggling with feeling like I'm becoming one of those Christians who are unwilling to do anything for anyone. Becoming selfish, prideful, and an unwilling servant of the Lord. Anyone who knows me well knows that this is not me. I enjoy doing things for others and making sure that they and their families are taken care of. It seem as if I've gotten hurt or offended by some people and My willingness to do anything for them has turned into feeling like forced acts I know should be done. The devil uses this against me daily... For weeks I've struggled with why I have developed an unwilling heart not just towards people who used to be close to me but to my God. Then I thought back at when it all started. Chris has continually told me he feels that I should be at home with our child. I have emotionally, physically, and spiritually fought this from the beginning. I'm a worrier and feel like I have to have control of everything. Throughout this pregnancy God has been taking more and more out of my hands. All of the complications, all of finacial worries, all of my fears of becoming a great mom.... He took them away from me and told me "Leah, I'm in control and I will provide all you need". Since God gave me this revelation, he is changing my heart from unwilling to willing to do as he asks. God is still working on my unwilling heart and when certain situations arrive and my heart and mind become cold, I'm reminded of his unconditional love and the grace he gives me even when I don't want to cooperate with his plans. Im refusing to let the devil uses this to keep me away from the main goal of winning people to the cross.