It is funny how when we really have the desire to do something or even want something so badly that it takes over and is what we are thinking about 24 hours a day, 7 days a week....we don't see it. We when first got married I had said "God, I AM NOT having kids for four years!" Then God did something miraculous He blessed us with our first pregnancy and just as quickly as He gave, He took that gift away. I am now learning even in recent months that I let wanting a child so badly that it over took my life and my every thought. This may not seem like such a bad thing on the surface but it is. This is exactly what we were told NOT to do..."Thou shall not make unto thee ANY graven images." I put wanting a child before everything....work, church, ministries, God. I finally took down my graven image and started looking towards heaven again. I don't know why God allowed me to go through the trials Chris and I have been through, but I thank Him for making these trials a blessing by allowing me to be closer to Him and to my Husband.
This morning on my way to work a song came to my heart and I immediately started crying the moment I started singing it. I given the lyrics below....maybe it will touch someone else.
God Will Make This Trial a blessing
"I've just come into a valley, one like I've never been before. I keep searching for a way out seems like padlocks on the door. Oh there must be another sunrise another sunset that I'll see God will make this trial a blessing, Just be patient you will see.
I was not the first one to come into this place. You see every Child of God this test he must face. It is here that God will mold you, to make you what you are to be. God will make this trail a blessing that's the love He has for me.
God will make this trial a blessing, though it sends me to my knees. Though my tears flow like a river, yet in Him there's sweet relief. There's no need to get discouraged, there's no need to talk defeat. God will make this Trial a blessing and the whole wide world will see.
Now I'm standing on the mountain, looking back I can see. When I was in the lowest valley HIS strong hand was leading me, Oh it's good to feel the sunshine and to taste sweet victory. God has made this trial a blessing, that's the grace he gave to me.
God will make this trial a blessing, though it sends me to my knees. Though my tears flow like a river, yet in Him there's sweet relief. There's no need to get discouraged, there's no need to talk defeat. God will make this Trial a blessing and the whole wide world will see."